What Can I Control? (Free Worksheet!)

So, the past month has definitely been…something. If you’re familiar with the old Jewish curse, “May you live in interesting times,” it might be coming to mind right now.

Since a lot of folks are struggling with more-than-the-usual stress and anxiety these days, I decided to make a printable version of an activity I often do with my clients. I call it the Circle of Control.

The premise of this exercise is that in any difficult situation, there are factors we can control and factors we cannot control. There’s also all the stuff in between, where we can kind of push it in a particular direction but don’t have the final say over how it turns out. (Other people’s behavior often fits into this category.)

Anxiety often comes up when we focus disproportionately on the factors we can’t control, while neglecting to think about the things we actually can change. Often, especially during times like these, those are the basic self-care things: sleep, hydration, food, moving our bodies. Yeah, that stuff.

Unfortunately, this becomes a feedback loop—anxiety tends to perpetuate itself, keeping us focused on the big scary things we have little or no control over, and making it even harder to focus on things like drinking water.

This activity can help us refocus.

An example Circle of Control. Possibly relatable right now.

If that didn’t make a ton of sense, hopefully the example above does. And here’s a printable PDF worksheet to help you learn how to use it:

One last key point: it’s okay to grieve and/or worry about the things in the outer ring. You don’t have to try to ignore them, especially since that won’t work anyway. Acknowledge them, and then gently move yourself further towards the middle of the circle.

Here’s a blank Circle of Control if you’d like one without the rest of the worksheet: